So…paranoid mom, why so paranoid?

Before becoming pregnant, I never, ever thought I would be a paranoid mom. I think the fact that Chichi was born premature has something to do with it.   I also never thought I would ever love someone so much. In fact, I didn’t even know us humans were capable of such love.

In those first few weeks after birth, as I looked and held my tiny baby girl, my mind became filled with fear about absolutely everything.  And I mean everything.  There were a lot of “what ifs”.  Here is a short list of things I (and probably many moms out there) became paranoid of:


  1.  What if, she gets sick?  I was afraid she’d get a cold, the flu, measles (there was an outbreak at the time), chickenpox, diarrhea, gas, fever…and the list goes on. I would make everyone wash and sanitize their hands prior to handling my baby.  If you’re sick? Don’t even visit.  I was terrified of bringing her outside (shopping, restaurants, anywhere that’s not home) because….what if someone sneezed on her?
  2. What if, she got really sick?  A couple of months after Chichi was born, I became even more paranoid when flu season hit and everyone was sick.  EVERYONE.  I would go out shopping and people would cough left, right and centre.  I couldn’t run away fast enough! Hubby had to take a shower immediately after coming home from work to avoid contaminating everything else.  It didn’t help that babies less than 3 months of age get hospitalized if they get a fever and may have to get a spinal tap. Not cool.
  3. What if, being born premature somehow affected her? This is where Google did its damage.  I read articles about how premature babies could have developmental delays.  I worried about this for days, and quite honestly, sometimes it kept me up at night.
  4. What if, she hates me when she grows up?  Yes, I was already worried about the infamous teenage rebellion.
  5. What if she gets bullied at school?
  6. What if she gets her heart broken?
  7. What if…teenage pregnancy?
  8. What if she gets into an accident?
  9. What if she gets a paper cut/scratched up knee/stung by a bee?
  10. What if….I’m a bad mom?

Those days, I would have given everything to have her back in my womb again, tucked away, safe and sound.

As the days went on, and I met other new parents, I began to realize that many of my fears are actually quite common.

What was your number one worry?

Comments are closed.