10 things I wish I knew before I got pregnant

1. Morning sickness is actually more like all-freaking-day-long-nausea-of-death.

2 Pregnancy brain is a real thing. There were days I felt my brain was in a deep, heavy fog and I couldn’t remember the simplest things. Things like, how old is your husband?  How old are you? *deep silence as I desperately try to do math in my head, but fail miserably because…how do you do math again?*

3. Pregnancy fatigue is the type of fatigue that will make you want to (and, can) sleep for 20 hours a day.

4. Your nose will be stuffy and runny….and nose bleeds? Oh yeah.

5. Your pelvis will start to hurt. It doesn’t matter that you’re not showing, or not very big, it hurts regardless. Then, you waddle.

6. You will miss seeing your toes. And, clipping your own toe nails.

7. It is possible for your breasts to increase by 2 cup sizes. Overnight.

8. If you’re pregnant in the summer, expect to feel like a giant, sweaty whale. You will sweat in places you never even knew could sweat.

9. You will need to buy extra tissue paper. Not only for the aforementioned runny nose, but also for the random tears brought on by…absolutely nothing.

10. The moment you hold your baby in your arms, you will immediately and irrevocably fall in love. The kind of love that makes you want to protect them with your life, whether it be standing in the middle of a train track to stop a train or give them your kidney (or any organ, really).  And, you’ll be ready to do it all over again. Really.

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