So…paranoid mom, why so paranoid?

Before becoming pregnant, I never, ever thought I would be a paranoid mom. I think the fact that Chichi was born premature has something to do with it.   I also never thought I would ever love someone so much. In fact, I didn’t even know us humans were capable of such love.

In those first few weeks after birth, as I looked and held my tiny baby girl, my mind became filled with fear about absolutely everything.  And I mean everything.  There were a lot of “what ifs”.  Here is a short list of things I (and probably many moms out there) became paranoid of:


  1.  What if, she gets sick?  I was afraid she’d get a cold, the flu, measles (there was an outbreak at the time), chickenpox, diarrhea, gas, fever…and the list goes on. I would make everyone wash and sanitize their hands prior to handling my baby.  If you’re sick? Don’t even visit.  I was terrified of bringing her outside (shopping, restaurants, anywhere that’s not home) because….what if someone sneezed on her?
  2. What if, she got really sick?  A couple of months after Chichi was born, I became even more paranoid when flu season hit and everyone was sick.  EVERYONE.  I would go out shopping and people would cough left, right and centre.  I couldn’t run away fast enough! Hubby had to take a shower immediately after coming home from work to avoid contaminating everything else.  It didn’t help that babies less than 3 months of age get hospitalized if they get a fever and may have to get a spinal tap. Not cool.
  3. What if, being born premature somehow affected her? This is where Google did its damage.  I read articles about how premature babies could have developmental delays.  I worried about this for days, and quite honestly, sometimes it kept me up at night.
  4. What if, she hates me when she grows up?  Yes, I was already worried about the infamous teenage rebellion.
  5. What if she gets bullied at school?
  6. What if she gets her heart broken?
  7. What if…teenage pregnancy?
  8. What if she gets into an accident?
  9. What if she gets a paper cut/scratched up knee/stung by a bee?
  10. What if….I’m a bad mom?

Those days, I would have given everything to have her back in my womb again, tucked away, safe and sound.

As the days went on, and I met other new parents, I began to realize that many of my fears are actually quite common.

What was your number one worry?

Born a preemie

According to the Centers for Disease Controls and Prevention, 1 out of every 8 babies are born premature in the US every year.  Babies are considered premature if they are born before 37 weeks.   A baby born premature can face a variety of complications such as cerebral palsy, breathing difficulties, and visual difficulties.  There can also be complications that aren’t seen until later such as learning difficulties.

A pregnant woman can decrease her chance of having a premature baby if she does not smoke, drink and attends regular checkups by her physician.  However, a woman can still have a preemie even if she does everything right. That’s what happened to me, and here’s my story- (more…)

My birth story

Right after the birth

For those who are scared of labour, unfortunately there’s no real way around it. You certainly can’t keep the baby inside forever!

Just think, you go through labour once, and you will have a beautiful baby to love forever. That’s a pretty good trade off I think.

The day Chichi was born was both the most painful and magical day of my life.


Fetal Ultrasound-20 week ultrasound

In Canada, a fetal ultrasound is offered around 20 weeks to assess for fetal abnormalities.  Some woman are also offered a dating ultrasound early on to determine gestational age and give an estimated due date.

The ultrasound assesses the baby, placenta and cervix for size, location, position and also assesses the development of various organs.  The test also checks for markers, which are NOT abnormalities but can be associated with some chromosomal problems (mainly Down syndrome and Trisomy 18).  The finding of a marker is used to adjust your base risk for Down syndrome or Trisomy 18.  It does NOT mean that your baby will definitely be born with Down Syndrome or Trisomy 18!!

Many parents will worry if their ultrasounds come back with the presence of soft markers.  I know, I was once there too- (more…)

Trying to conceive – my story

One thing that I didn’t expect when hubby and I decided to have kids was how long it was going to take.  High school sex ed made everything sound so easy!

Hubby and I started trying to conceive immediately after we got married.  The first few months we didn’t do anything special and just thought “if it’s going to happen, it’ll happen”.  But it didn’t.  I was disappointed.  So I started to seek some extra help. (more…)

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